One year ago today...

One year ago today was not a good day for our family - it's been rough at times but as a friend of mine put it - he's where we want to be one day. As we strive to make it through this life I look forward to one day meeting our son whom we didn't have the chance to meet on this earth.

I love you precious baby boy.

Love Mommy :)

Random Halloween Memory

I was just thinking about memories from Halloween past and thought about one when I was growing up in Boardman - Just reminded me of what kind of man my Dad was...

I was a police cadet - blame it on my friend Marlene :) It didn't last long, only about a year an a half or so but it was fun while it lasted.

As a cadet you could go on ride along's - where you get to ride in a police car with an officer and pull people over or go check out suspicious behavior, or just drive around making sure people aren't misbehaving. It just so happened that the only time I went on one of these ride-along's was All-Hallow's Eve. Yup - Halloween- I was a bit terrified, it being my first time and all.

So this day was anticipated for quite awhile, couple of weeks or so. I had to be trained, get permission (I was underage), and show that I could handle myself. It was interesting to say the least.

The big day arrives and I've done everything necessary to get myself ready for the big night, I've got my uniform on, I'm sure I gave myself a couple of pep talks, and said goodbye to my parents. I walk down to the police station and proceed to go on my very first ride-along.

We drove around a bit making sure the little kiddies were safe and that no teenagers where causing mischief. We sat at the freeway entrance waiting for people that didn't stop at the off-ramp stop sign. We pulled someone over cause they had a missing headlight. We got a call about suspicious activity out in a field (didn't find anything). And then the officer drove me home. (nope no doughnut shops involved but we were tempted)

Yup that was about it - *whew*

Apparently I wasn't the only one worried...

As I walked in the door after my little adventure I heard squawking and radio chatter and I was wondering what the heck was going on - and there sitting in his chair was my father, listening to a police scanner.

Love you Dad.

Six months gone by aready!!?

I can't believe six months have already passed since my last post! Wow how time flies. So here is a small update:

Alana turned 4!!
--- Can't believe it, but there you have it. I now have a big 4 year old!

We had the roof on our house in La Grande fix/changed.
--- It needed done for awhile and we're glad that it finally is - one less headace

David has been officially layed off.
--- a new chapter in our life is about to begin as he attempts school. We are excited to move on and for David to start doing what he's always wanted to do "when he grows up" - lol

And now that he's layed off we can attempt to do our back yard project that has been waiting for us for two years.

And that is about the sum of it for now - no major bad stuff lately and we are truly grateful for that and will take what the Lord is willing to give.

My new camera

My camera went kaput on me so I decided to take the plunge and get another point and shoot - what do you think? It does alright but I think I like my old one better...

These are the better of the shots I took. Can you tell who the joy of my life is?? She is the reason I get up in the morning, she helps me to move on and look at the world in a positive light.

I love you sweet girl

We tried Curlformers but Alana didn't want to leave them in long enough
We'll have to try again another day.

Love the attitude

Alana LOVES hanging out with her cousin Keegan... and they loved their new sunglasses!

Sweet smile!!!

Keegan got a new drum set from his grandma - just really glad that it's not in MY house!! (at least while Keegan's playing it) Alana plays it pretty good - she was playing it so well Nancy and I thought Jaydin was playing it when it was actually Alana.

Alana was hitting daddy's head pretty hard! Silly girl, she's got her daddy wrapped around her little finger :):)

My Heart is Broken...

I think that my heart is Broken - can I have a new one??? This valentines day was the WORST EVER!!!!

Well it actually started Sunday morning. My left ovary started hurting pretty bad, I had no idea what it might be so we went to the ER. They first did some labs and found out I was pregnant - Surprise! First time ever getting pregnant without fertility drugs. Turned out not to be a good thing however since the ultrasound showed no baby in my uterus, when by that time they should have seen something in there. The ER sent me home saying it could possibly be ectopic and to come back in if anything at all changed, cause if it ruptured it could be life threatening.

The rest of the day it was just a dull pain but come Monday morning (Valentine's Day) it started hurting again - with a vengeance this time. This time the pain was all over my abdominal area - I was just in pain EVERYWHERE!! So back into the ER I went. Not sure why but all they did was give me some morphine and send me home. They told me to call the doctor for a followup. Funny cause when I followed up with the doctor that same day they said "well if it's a possible ectopic pregnancy we would send you to the ER" yeah I'm convinced all doctors are idiots!!

On Monday not only was I in pain (the morphine did nothing to help the pain) but because of the morphine I was vomiting ALL DAY! I literally could keep nothing down all day. I remember trying to eat a piece of ice and having dry heaves from it. It was awful! I was feeling slightly better about 8 that night so I wanted to shower - that was a mistake. I actually ended up passing out. David was beside himself with worry. I thought I just passed out from dehydration and from throwing up all day.

So Tuesday I go into to have labs done and Wednesday morning the doctor finally calls back and tells me that the labs aren't good and I should probably go in and have an ultrasound done. The ultrasound once again showed no baby in my uterus and this time there is what might be blood in my abdominal cavity. They also saw a large something in the region of my left ovary.

That's when the doctor says that I probably should have surgery. That I may have a ruptured fallopian tube. Duh, ya think?

So Wednesday night I had surgery and they said it had definitely ruptured. They also pulled out about 1/3 gallon of clots. Which translates to bleeding out about a gallon of blood! No wonder I looked white! They said there were so many clots the nurse in the operating room was having to stomp on the tube to keep it from clogging up. It turned from a one hour surgery into two hours. The anesthesiologist was surprised I was doing as well as I was before the surgery.

Well I am feeling a little better now, it's been about a week since the surgery. One doctor told me I shouldn't have gotten pregnant so soon after my D&C's and it was probably because of the scarring from the D&C's that the baby stopped in the tube. But another doctor said that since it had been two months since the D&C that it probably wouldn't have mattered how long I had waited to try again, it would have happened on that side anyways. And that there is a 30% chance of it happening on the other side now too.

So my guess is no more kids for us, at least naturally. What a bitter disappointment. Can't seem to catch a break.

And now you know why my heart is broken...

Layoffs

http://www.tri-cityherald.com/2011/01/20/1333876/1600-layoffs-in-the-works-at-hanford.html#storylink=omni_popular

Looks like David will be returning to school in the near future...